As Seen on the Interstate Yesterday

A yellow truck drove past me in the left lane yesterday. It first caught my attention because of the large stylized picture of an elephant holding a bouquet of flowers on the back of the truck. It held my attention because of the company's name and tagline:


Smell Good Plumber
"I guarantee my plumber will show up on time and smell good or I pay you."


I found myself contemplating, throughout the day, how one would run such a business. Does the hiring process involve sniff tests? Is there a company-approved deoderant, body wash, and cologne combination? Does their handbook dictate which gas-inducing or curry-laced foods must be avoided in the 12 hours before a shift starts? What does their QA/QC involve? Could you really fire employees based on their personal smells? Could you dock their pay to cover your promise? How would you hold various employees to this standard? Does a new hire get a uniform and a can of spray deoderant on a tool belt on the first day? And how do you know that what smells good to one person doesn't smell bad to someone else? And, really, when I think of a plumber's personal problems, I stereotypically think of "plumber's crack." Who doesn't? It has it's own phrase in the English language now. Is that too difficult of a problem to solve? Did they do the market research and determine, that among the pool of available plumbers, they would have more luck hiring and retaining plumbers who didn't stink than plumbers who didn't have the north end of the canyon peeking from above their saggy belt lines?


Truthfully, I can say that they have a unique niche in the plumbing business, that they are unforgettable, and that they can probably run a decent grassroots marketing campaign. Assuming their plumbers actually do smell good, to which I cannot attest.