I guess, after three decades of experience, I'd forgotten that some behaviors, which I would consider instinctual, actually have to be learned. Public bathrooms, for instance, immediately cause me to shrink back inside myself, withdrawing almost from the touch of the air within. Necessary, yet dreaded. My mind is engaged in constant, frantic motion, trying to ascertain how best to avoid physical contact with my surroundings, while still "getting the job done." I have reacted like this to public restrooms for as long as I can remember. Only now do I realize that this reaction must have been programmed into me by my Mother (for which I'll always be greatful).
How could filthy surroundings NOT cause this reaction? That's why I had thought it was an instinctual response. Yet, from my sweet children, I've learned another lesson: I was wrong. On the contrary, to be pressed in from all sides by other people's germs somehow makes one come alive with activity. Touching walls. Touching nose. Touching handicapped bars next to toilet. Touching face. Touching doors. Touching mouth. Touching small trash can next to toilet. Touching me. Touching toilet. Rubbing eyes. Touching flusher. Giving hugs. Lying down. Sucking fingers. Running hands along wall. Sucking thumb. Getting on hands and knees to look under stall dividers. Unlocking door while I'm still on the toilet. Boundaries that I have come to view as tactile, are really all in my head. Why not collect germs and share personal experiences with strangers in such small spaces?
Five agonizing minutes, a queasy stomach, and several gray hairs later, we scrub down like surgeons (minus soap and papertowels and hot water, all apparently unobtainable luxuries for this particular gas station), and walk out the door. Just another five minutes of life for my children, who are oblivious to the fact that I will never be the same.
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4 comments:
Great description! I feel the same way about public restrooms - especially gas stations! I'm dreading potty training because then I will have to be often reaquainted with the public restrooms in every store, state, and restaurant we ever visit. Ah, such is life. :)
Boy! Can I relate! Yes, you undoubtedly learned it from your mother, who learned it from her mother! Are we thankful for mothers who care about such unseen things? I sure am!
After reading your description, I feel rather ill! Thankfully, this too shall pass (as all stages of childhood do)!
I'm just glad to be a guy.
Amen Brother!
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